


adora

by NoirAngel011



Series: Etheria High [4]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Character Study, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 09:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30002796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoirAngel011/pseuds/NoirAngel011
Summary: A betty songfic.Catra’s thoughts and feelings while watching a few key events, as well as how she feels when she’s holed up in her room. A study of her and Adora’s relationship before, during, and after Teenage Wasteland
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Series: Etheria High [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031805
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	adora

**Author's Note:**

> This story will not make sense to somebody who hasn’t read TW.
> 
> I’ve had this idea for a while and decided to scribble it down. I changed a few lines and took one or two out and of course changed the names.
> 
> Fun Fact: Catra’s real name, Katherine, is spelled with a K because she’s named after me! Katherine is my middle name and I'm uncreative and basic. The more you know.

_Adora, I won’t make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom but I think it’s cause of me,_

Catra watched Adora walk up to the teacher and hand her a slip of paper. The teacher read it over, then nodded at Adora. Adora smiled and began to gather her stuff out of her desk. Glimmer stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, impatiently waiting on Adora to hurry up. As she left, Adora gave Catra a sad look, at least, Catra thought she did.

_Adora, one time I was riding on my skateboard when I passed your house, it’s like I couldn’t breathe._

Catra was riding her skateboard through the city, trying to take her mind off things. She kept her eyes on the road in front of her, watching for stray gravel. She came to the end of the road and looked up, realizing where she was. 

She stumbled and fell off her skateboard and only the pavement. Somehow, she had ended up in Bright Moon and was standing right in front of Adora’s house.

Maybe it was muscle memory and she had done it without thinking. Catra scowled and picked herself up, going on her way. Adora meant nothing to her anymore, it didn’t matter.

_You heard the rumors from Eliz, you can’t believe a word she says,_

“Did you hear?” Glimmer asked, shutting her locker and turning to Adora. Adora shook her head.

“Hear what?” she asked.

“Katherine Weaver has a crush on you.”

Adora shook her head. “No way. She hates me.”

Glimmer laughed. “I think she’s just a bitch, but she’s a bitch with a crush. She was doodling your name in her notebook according to Mermista.”

“Do you have spies everywhere?” Adora asked as the two girls walked away towards their next class.

“Maybe,” Glimmer hummed.

_Most times, but this time it was true._

Catra furiously scribbled on the inside cover of her notebook. She wasn’t paying attention to Mrs. Nessa, she was instead drawing the outline of the blonde sitting in front of her with her pen. That stupid ponytail, the stupid hair poof, her stupid letterman jacket. She failed to notice Mermista walk beside her as she returned to her seat from the pencil sharpener. The girl looked over her shoulder at her drawing while she smirked to herself.

_The worst thing that I ever did, was what I did to you._

Catra cried as she sat on her bed, holding her phone to her chest. Everything seemed to remind her of Adora these days. But what hurt worst of all was all the happy pictures she and her friends were posting. Bonfires, parties, study sessions. All things she could have been a part of if she wasn’t such a stubborn brat. She would never admit it, but she missed Adora more than she had ever missed anything before.

_Adora, I know where it all went wrong,_

“Yo, Adora, the teach is locked in the bathroom, let’s go!” Catra said, sticking her head into the room. Adora’s brow furrowed.

“And who locked him in the bathroom?” she asked.

“Irrelevant,” was Catra’s response. “Now come on! Shadow Bitch is gonna catch us if we don’t hurry. We can hide out at your place!” Catra beckoned her forward. Adora shook her head.

“That’s wrong, Catra. I’m here for a reason, I’m not just breaking out of detention with you.” Adora crossed her arms over her chest. Catra’s face fell.

“Why not? We break the rules all the time! What, these assholes got into your head that you need to be a goody-two-shoes now?” Adora stood up and came over to Catra. She looked back at Glimmer and Bow.

“I don’t want to get in even more trouble, Catra. I’m better than that, _we’re_ better than that.” She reached for Catra’s hand but the brunette pulled away.

“So what? You just wanna throw away years of friendship for some bitches you just met?!” Catra had tears brimming her eyes.

Catra never thought in a million years that Adora would leave, but she did. She chose them, so Catra ran. She ran away and didn’t look back. And now here she was, crying on her bedroom floor. Even if she knew what she did wrong, she had no way to fix it.

_Your favorite song was playing from the far side of the gym._

Adora leaned up against the wall. Catra watched from afar, sitting with Scorpia on the bleachers. Adora looked mad, and Catra could only assume she got into a fight with her oh-so-perfect friends. Then she recognized Adora’s favorite song begin to play.

Confident by Demi Lovato. Personally not Catra’s taste, but she guessed she got why Adora liked it. They used to dance around to it in her bedroom late at night during their sleepovers, giggling like idiots as they were at the peak of their sugar highs.

_I hate the crowds, you know that,_

“Come on, Catra, it’ll be fun!” Adora begged.

“No, Adora. We’re not going to Homecoming,” Catra groaned from where she was laying on Adora’s bed. “Let’s just hang out and watch a movie.”

“You’re no fun.” Adora slumped down to the floor, leaning against her dresser.

“You know I hate people.” Adora laughed.

“You don’t hate me.”

Catra blushed and sputtered, turning her focus to her phone.

“Yeah, well, you’re you,” she whispered. Adora heard her anyway and giggled.

“Fine, we won’t go to homecoming, but next year, we will. I’ll be able to drive us there and everything!”

Catra cracked a smile at her enthusiasm.

“Sure, Adora. Next year.”

_Plus I saw you dance with him._

Catra watched from across the gym as Bow held out his hand to Adora. She watched Adora sigh, then take it as Bow led her to the dance floor.

“So charming.” Were the only words she could read off Adora’s lips. Catra chomped down on her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.

“You okay, wildcat?” Scorpia asked beside her. Catra crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back.

“I’m fine.”

_But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me?_

Catra really needed to stop getting on social media. All it did was piss her off and make her cry.

But she was there anyway, scrolling through Snapchat stories on Halloween night while Shadow Bitch was passed out downstairs.

Of course, Adora was throwing a party. Everyone was posting videos of the blonde chugging various alcoholic substances. It looked like the whole gang was there, except for Glimmer.

Everyone looked like they were having fun, all dressed up and drunk and hyper on a variety of sugary sodas and candy, Catra guessed. 

A part of her almost wished that she was there, if only to see what all the fuss was about.

But Adora didn’t want her. She had made that clear.

So Catra just turned her phone off and tried to ignore the aching hole in her heart while she blinked away the tears.

_Would you tell me to go fuck myself, or lead me to the garden?_

Catra could spend hours writing letters, poems, and songs about all the reasons she hated Adora.

She could also spend hours writing about all the reasons she loved her.

But she spent even more time wondering. Wondering what Adora would do if she showed up at her house out of the blue. If she forced herself back into Adora’s life.

But wonder turns to curiosity, curiosity turns to yearning, and yearning takes you to dark places you had no idea were locked away. So it was better if she ignored her feelings and pushed them down. She would rather spend time writing love confessions just to tear them up and burn them anyway. It was better than letting herself want and wonder.

_I’m only sixteen,_

It was her birthday and Catra didn’t know what to think.

After her conversation with Adora, she only felt more and more conflicted. Adora said that she cared about her, but that couldn’t be right. Adora left. Adora didn’t care.

She only wanted to be the hero, and Catra was too prideful to let her.

_I don’t know anything but I know I miss you._

Catra was the last person to admit that she missed Adora, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t know she did. She knew it better than anybody. Adora seemed to fill her every thought, every action. It all reminded her of Adora.

Especially the robe that laid on her floor, covered in her own blood and the phone in her hand telling her “Go on in, you know the garage code.”

Maybe for one night, she would let herself indulge. But in the morning it would be right back to hating Adora.

She had to promise herself that.

_I was running away from home on broken cobblestones_

Catra ran. She just ran. It was all she knew how to do these days. 

She ran away from home, away from school, and away from Adora. She let her scuffed-up boots take her away from the Fright Zone. She wasn’t sure where she was going, but anyway away from there would be okay.

She knew that she couldn’t escape her feelings, but she could sure as hell find bigger things to worry about that would shove them down.

_Just thinking of you when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions._

Catra thought she heard a car behind her. That was dumb, she was out in the middle of nowhere about half a mile from home, nobody would be out here. 

For a moment she thought it might be Adora coming after her. She shook the thought away. Adora didn’t care. Adora wouldn’t come.

_She said, “Catra, get in.”_

The one and only Glimmer pulled up beside her, headlights shining on the road in front of her.

“Catra, get in. It’s cold,” she said, rolling down her window.

“It’s March and we live in California. It isn’t cold,” Catra retorted. 

“Fuck you, just get in the goddamn car.” She heard Glimmer unlock the backseat doors. Catra weighed her options.

Glimmer’s gaze bore into her soul and eventually, she stopped caring as she climbed into the backseat of the car.

“I hate you, Sparkles” she grumbled.

“Same here, Kitty.”

_Those days turned into nights, slept next to her._

Glimmer and Catra spent a week on the road. They moved around Etheria, mostly staying on the outskirts. Never going far from home, but it felt nice to be free.

Catra didn’t know why she was letting Glimmer help her, but it was kind of nice, just her, Glimmer, and her newly acquired cat Melog. At least she had stopped calling her Katherine. It was more bearable to have Glimmer’s car as a shelter as opposed to sleeping on the streets she guessed. Her wallet also wasn’t something Catra was complaining about. It didn’t mean that she needed her.

Maybe Catra was starting to see why Adora liked having her as a friend, although she would die on the spot if Glimmer ever found out she felt like that.

_I dreamt of you all week long._

The more time she spent with Glimmer, the more she remembered Adora. Glimmer often would mention little things Adora did, and Catra would be painfully reminded of all the times she watched her do them. The way she picked at her cuticles, the way she played with her hair by balling a few strands up and ripping it out of her head, the way she snored and managed to still be cute while doing it.

Glimmer was pulling stories out of Catra that she hadn’t thought about in forever. Stories from their childhood together. How competitive they were in gymnastics, how she got the nickname Catra because Adora has a tooth gap and couldn’t say Katherine, how Catra and Adora got drunk for the first time together on Coach Weaver’s wine.

She missed her so much, and a part of her wanted to fix that. She didn’t want to be angry and bitter anymore. 

She wanted to be happy. Being happy sounded nice.

_Adora, I'm here on your doorstep_

This was dumb. This was so dumb. She should just turn around now and leave.

But she wasn’t going to, because she was trying to be a good friend. She bit her lip, tightened her grip on the flowers she held, and raised her fist to knock on the door.

_I planned it out for weeks now but it’s finally sinking in,_

After Adora had come looking for her when she ran away, her poems and letters of hatred slowly turned into ones that were sickeningly sweet and looked like something a teenage girl in a sitcom would write to her boyfriend, but they were how Catra truly felt. They were real, honest. They weren’t the hatred she was pretending was still there to save face.

She was in love with her best friend. And here she was, going to admit that.

She just wished that the idiot hadn’t gotten herself hurt right before she was going to do it.

But Catra wasn’t a pussy, despite what her name _might_ imply. It was now or never. She rested her hand on the doorknob to Adora’s hospital room and opened it.

_Adora, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again._

No more haunting dreams, no more scribbles in her notebook, no more agonizing wondering, curiosity, and yearning. 

This was happening, she was doing this.

“I, uh, brought you flowers. I thought they might brighten up the room.”  
Adora laughed. She was laying in bed with her foot propped up on two pillows.

“They’re beautiful.”

‘Just like you,’ Catra thought.

_The only thing I wanna do is make it up to you._

Catra was so broken. She always had been. Multiple mental disorders that she refused to have diagnosed plagued her. She knew she had problems, but hearing that Adora was willing to help her fix them? Catra felt tears rolling down her cheeks on the spot. Hearing Adora promise to help her was the best thing the blonde could have ever said.

Adora held her face gingerly, brushing away the tears.

“I promise.”

_So, I showed up at your party_

To celebrate the end of the school year, Adora was throwing a party. With her foot healed and her friend group reunited, it was the perfect opportunity. After her mom had cleansed the house of all alcoholic content, of course. She had gotten in pretty big trouble for drinking at her last party.

Catra still had yet to tell Adora about her feelings. She could feel Melog judging her as she got ready for the party.

“Oh, shut up you stupid cat,” she told him, rubbing his head. Melog chirped but glared at her.

_Yeah, I showed up at your party._

Catra walked down the stairs of the Grayskull home. Technically, it was her home too now, but she felt weird thinking of it like that. It was so different from anything she had ever known. Lively, happy, warm, not empty, sad, and cold. 

It was almost dusk when she reached the backyard. She felt out of place, not really on good terms with everyone who littered the yard. 

She heard people whispering, but she didn’t give a fuck. She had come too far to back out now.

“Hey, Adora.”

_Will you have me, will you love me?_

“And- Adora. I don’t know how to say it but I love you. I always have!” Mid love confession and Catra had never felt so free. Rejection was staring her dead in the eyes but she didn’t care as a smile bloomed out across Adora’s face.

“You love me?” she asked, teary-eyed. Catra nodded.

“You’re such an idiot.

_Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?_

Catra grabbed Adora’s chin, pulling her down to her level. Their lips met and Catra thought she might pass out. She smiled into the kiss as she heard gasps all around her. She felt Adora smiling too.

_If you kiss me will it be just like I dreamed?_

Catra had been dreaming of this moment for so long. The day that she could finally have what she always wanted. The day she was free of Shadow Bitch and Adora would hold her and kiss her and tell her she loved her.

_Will it patch your broken wings?_

“I love you too,” Adora said as they broke apart but she was still holding Catra’s hand. Catra beamed, then leaned forward and rested her head on Adora’s collarbone. She didn’t care that everyone was watching. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she was home. And she knew Adora did too.

_I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything,_

Catra and Adora were seventeen when they moved in together.

The second floor, apartment ten in the Etheria Moon apartments on Cornelia Street.

They were young and dumb, but they were oh-so in love. They spent their nights dancing around the kitchen and their days hanging out with their friends. They spent their mornings singing off-key while getting ready for school and their evenings cuddled up on the couch watching TV.

Catra had never been happier.

_But I knew I missed you._

Sophomore year was the worst school year of Catra’s life, but she made it through. She came out the other side a better and happier person, with more friends and a more loving family than she had ever had before. She was happy, and loved, and safe. No more bruises, no more scars, no more burn marks, wine stains, or bloodshed.

Her friends were amazing and her family was great, but the one thing she loved most of all was Adora. She knew it would always be her and Adora. Even if they made room for some new friends, that could never break the bond they had, now stronger than ever after all their fighting.

They would never have a Sophomore year repeat, they promised each other that much.

_Standing in your cardigan,_

Catra liked to steal Adora’s clothes, but her favorite by far was a red cardigan that had been bought for Adora with the purpose of church in mind, probably not for her girlfriend to walk around their apartment with it wrapped around her shoulders as she stumbled into Adora’s office after a nightmare. It was soft and fuzzy and made her feel safe.

Almost as safe as sitting in Adora’s lap at 1:42 in the morning while Adora did school work.

She laid her head against Adora’s shoulder resting her forehead in the crook of her neck so she could breathe in Adora’s scent. She wrapped the cardigan tighter around herself.

Yeah, this was home.

_Kissing in your car again,_

Catra and Adora were notorious for being late to school. They could literally be sitting in the parking lot thirty minutes before the bell rang and still be late for class.

Their friends made fun of them for it, but the couple saw the way they secretly smiled and gushed about their relationship when they thought they weren’t looking. They could pretend to gag when they caught them making out in Adora’s car all they wanted.

Even if they were really gagging, Adora and Catra wouldn’t care.

_Standing under a street light, you know I missed you._

Catra and Adora stood under the streetlamp at the end of Cornelia Street. Catra was standing on her tippy toes so she could press her forehead against Adora’s.

“I missed you, you know. The whole time,” Catra whispered.

Adora lightly pecked her lips.

“Me too.”


End file.
